I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
