Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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