What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
