i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
