I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
