I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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