it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
