Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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