I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
