they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I FOUND THE LEGS
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
