the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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