Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
