He uses pillows to masturbate.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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