We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Randomize
