My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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