the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
