I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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