you traded sex for a burrito?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
