hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
