what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
how does that bad decision feel?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
