do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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