I'm so fucking centered right now
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
