She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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