I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
