Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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