Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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