bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
