3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
