jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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