I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
