so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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