fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
