Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I DEMAND FORESKIN
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
