Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
