Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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