yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
