Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
