I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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