Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
