Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
