I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
