You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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