I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
