I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
