went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Never underestimate the power of titties
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