Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
