I want you more than these girls want KFC
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
