What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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