I don't think brook has ever known best
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
