just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
