How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
